I co-founded and edit this literary website. My posts can be found here.

I attended the historic Obama rally in Grant Park last week and wrote a TOC blog post about it the next morning. (Mine is the last-and longest-post).

A TOC blog post about a Joe Pug show at the Hideout. This kid’s star is rising.

A TOC blog post about a beauty event I attended in the South Loop.

Features article about street artists: “Concrete canvas”
Features article; a street art tour: “Going, going, gone”
Features article; gang signs vs. street art: “Writing on the wall.”

After my Time Out Chicago article titled “Concrete Canvas” was published last month, WGN Radio asked Lauren Weinberg (Time Out‘s Art and Design editor who wrote most of the rest of the Public Art feature) and myself to appear on Nick Digilio ‘s show on Friday, July 25. It was fun; we chatted about illegal/public art for about a half hour; Nick was super interested in the subject and asked good questions and even told us about a piece of public art or two we’d not heard of before. (Eventually, I’ll figure out how to add the audio to this site but that hasn’t happened yet.) July 25, 2008.

I freelance occasionally for Vosges Haut Chocolat, and I recently copy-edited a fascinating guidebook that Vosges is including with their “Cheese and Chocolat” collection. The gorgeous design and layout of this book was done by Ali Nash; this image is from her portfolio site. The purpose of the guidebook is to help readers understand flavors, textures, and aromas of myriad kinds of cheeses and chocolate, and guide them through the process of conducting a cheese and chocolate tasting. I learned a lot about things like fermentation, washed-rind and cave-aged cheeses, and why Taleggio cheese is perfect with dark chocolate.

“The artists installing this “guerilla” art (mostly in the warmer months and the dark of night) call themselves street artists and often hide their identities from cops by using nicknames. But don’t confuse their work with gang graffiti or tagging: It’s illegal, but there’s an altruistic mission to their madness. [for full article, click here.]” July 24, 2008. Issue #178.

A TOC blog post about a lunchtime program hosted by Stuart Dybek at the Chicago Cultural Center.

Papa Smiles
This charming south side ice cream parlor/candy shop is owned and managed by “Papa” Ron Kozak, whose mother ran a beauty shop in the building. The quaint decor—an old-fashioned soda fountain, jukebox, and walls plastered with historical photos of the ‘hood—hearkens back to a simpler time. We recommend the generous portions of Homers & Hershey ice cream (especially pistachio), Papa’s greasily delicious chili- and corn-dogs and housemade taffy apples (peanut, pecan, walnut). Eat outside on benches or at antique tables loaded with games for the rugrats.
6955 W Archer Ave between Newland and Sayre Aves (773-788-0388). El: Orange to 62H Archer bus. Bus: 62H. Lunch, dinner: 12-9pm daily during late March through November (weather permitting). Average item: $3.

Time Out Chicago / Issue 163 : Apr 10–16, 2008

The scene

Hillary Clinton at the Civic Center in Hammond, Indiana, March 28, 2:32pm By Gretchen Kalwinski

Borderline state: Most of Indiana votes Republican, but Northwest Indiana (a rust-belt region that calls itself a Chicago ’burb) is populated with blue collars and union Democrats. Due to the state’s increasingly important May 6 primary, Hillary Clinton planned a Gary, Indiana, stop; but after Gary Mayor Rudy Clay endorsed Obama, she rerouted her Hoosier Economy Tour to Hammond, mere miles from Obama’s South Side base. Bobby Kennedy was the last presidential candidate to visit Hammond, so thousands turned out with signage: NWI IS CLINTON COUNTRY and 2 FOR 1: HILLARY AND BILL: KEEPING THE DREAM ALIVE. Undeterred by Clinton’s posse being two hours late, the crowd ate concession-stand hot dogs and politely endured a high-school chorus’s Beatles/ Footloose medley during the wait. Clinton’s talk was crowd-appropriate: “It was from Northwest Indiana that so much of the steel came from that built this country;” “My campaign is about jobs, jobs, jobs.” She invoked Indiana Sen. Evan Bayh, rumored to be her potential VP, and Bush-bashed—“Won’t you be happy to see him walking out of the White House?”—while the crowd cheered wildly. One sign-holding mom scolded her daughter when she slumped back in her chair, saying, “This is history: Stand up!”

Time Out Chicago / Issue 157 : Feb 28–Mar 5, 2008

By Gretchen Kalwinski

POLE POSITION Martini Club’s cold vodka and hot bartenders may make you a little lightheaded.

PHOTO: MIREYA ACIERTO

The Polish party spot Martini Club (4933 N Milwaukee Ave, 773-202-9444) nestles in the blue collar ’hood of Jefferson Park, but it’s attempting to draw an upscale, clubby crowd. Exhibit A: swank decor like gilded mirrors, a translucent bar lit up underneath by red lights, a DJ area near the front window, glowing red candles, leather booths, exposed brick, disco balls and laser lights. In a city that abounds with Polish shot-and-beer joints, this bar reaches out to those whose names may not end in ski while still retaining its Polish roots.

Beer drinkers go for bottles of light, crisp Zywiec (ZHIV-yetz), or Okocim (oh-KO-chim) on draft, which tastes “cleaner and sharper” than the bottled stuff, according to one friendly old man who downs the traditional vodka shot before taking a sip of his beer. Another shot option: the gold-colored Krupnik ($3), a honey-lemon vodka infused with herbs. This stuff burns as it travels down the pipes, but many Polish bartenders (and grandmothers) tout it as a cold remedy; “It’ll kill whatever germs you’ve got,” says Mark (Marek in Polish), a first-generation Pole in his fifties whose parents met in a post-WWII relocation camp. He speaks Polish, “but not as well as I used to,” he says.

After a few drinks, Marek loosens up enough to try some Polish on the bartender, so he says “thank you,” “Dziekuje” (jane-KOO-yeh), and clinks glasses with his friend while reciting the traditional Polish toast, “Na zdrowie” (nah STROH-vyeh), which means “to your health.”

Soon there are signs the boisterous birthday party in the back booths threatens to take over the bar—the place is suddenly full of balloons, the TVs change from sports to European music videos and laser lights flash around the bar. “I’m out of here,” Marek says, laughing, and though the bartenders try to press another drink on him, he leaves to make more room for the young Poles, who are toasting, “Sto lat!” (“100 years”), to the birthday girl.

——————–

Slow burn

Pick up our two favorite Polish vodkas.

PHOTO: SHMURA CAMPBELL

Zubrowka (joov-BROOV-ka), pictured, is an herby-tasting vodka infused with bison grass grown in Poland’s Biaowie forest; there’s a blade of it in each bottle, which gives the stuff a pleasing greenish-yellow color. Poles like to drink it with apple juice or cider. Get it for $4 per glass at My Place on Milwaukee (3394 N Milwaukee Ave, 773-286-4482).

For straight-up great-tasting vodka, go for the sharp, clean, no-aftertaste Wyborowa (veh-bo-ROW-va). It holds its own against Belvedere and Ketel One—but costs substantially less. Grab a 750ml bottle for $12.99 at Foremost Liquors (2300 N Milwaukee Ave, 773-278-9420).

SIMILAR SPOTS

Zakopane (1734 W Division St, 773-486-1559). The same old men have been drinking Polish beer and mid-range vodkas here since time began. Only now there’s an actual bathroom door instead of a sheet, an improvement made sometime in the late ’90s.

Cavalier Inn (735 Gostlin St, Hammond, IN, 219-933-9314). If you’re hitting traffic on the way back from Michiana, exit I-90 for reliable Polish drinks—Zywiec (beer), Zubrowka (bison-grass vodka) and jezynowka (blackberry brandy). Order some pierogi to soak up the booze before heading home.

Karolinka Club (6102 S Central Ave, 773-735-0818). This polka joint serves Tyskie, a popular lager often sweetened with raspberry or strawberry syrup.

Accent Café (700 N River Rd, Mount Prospect, 847-298-2233). On weekends, young Poles here drink the Polish flag shot—cherry juice with vodka.

In this “Worst Firsts” feature in Time Out Chicago, I recall accidentally dating a cowboy in college.
An overeager cowboy. A man with a broken penis. A guy who gleefully recounts tales of his cocaine arrests. Readers went on terrible first dates with these freak shows so you don’t have to.

Assignment: Get fancy spa treatments and write about them? Yes boss, I can do that. See below or click the link for the full article.

Time Out Chicago / Issue 155 : February 14, 2008 – February 20, 2008

Problem: This sunless, freezing weather is giving me a case of the grumps
Meditation bath at Kaya Day Spa
I had high hopes for this treatment’s ability to boost the serotonin levels that seasonal affective disorder depletes. It promises to “ground the mind and body” and “soak away the cares of the world” with the scents of sandalwood, pine and lavender. I was led into a private room with a huge bathtub, and crawled into the (already drawn) bath with 48 massaging water jets and colored lightbulbs that can be set to coordinate to your preferred mood: blue for serenity, red for creativity, etc. I chose orange (for energy) and I dug the idea until I started thinking I could easily create a similar experience for a lot less money in my own tub by plugging in colored Christmas lights nearby. Also, the sides of the tub were very high and very vertical, which forced me to sit upright—not terribly comfy. But I did emerge from this aromatherapeutic treatment relaxed, if not a tiny bit giddy. 30 minutes for $45.— Gretchen Kalwinski

Acu-energetic therapy at exhale

Since I’m a SAD sufferer and get lethargic and cranky in winter, any treatment that claims to produce “a sense of wonderful expansiveness and a profound state of peace” has me at hello. When I entered exhale (freezing, pissed at public transit), the staff gave me a robe and chamomile tea while I waited in the quiet room for my acupuncturist. She asked about my food cravings and energy levels; since I complained of insomnia and stress, she told me that my adrenal gland—which helps to regulate stress-managing chemicals—was overtaxed. To fix this, she inserted 15 needles into my forehead, wrists and feet, then pressed vibrating tuning forks to those points to “align my chi.” Outside, a friend waited in a warm car to drive me home. Who cares if it was the tea, quiet room, acupuncture or ride? At the end of the session, I truly felt happier. 60 minutes for $150.— Gretchen Kalwinski

Dry skin
Problem: Death Valley’s got nothing on my parched skin
SCRUB A DUB DUB The herbal body wrap at Chicago Male starts with exfoliation—all the better to get moisture into your skin.

Remineralizing and moisturizing marine algae wrap at Allyu Unless I moisturize fiendishly during winter, my legs turn crocodile-esque, so I hoped this wrap would make up for all those times I jumped out of the shower and skipped body lotion. In the treatment room, the aesthetician dry-brushed my body with a rough loofah; applied an alpha-hydroxy and seaweed mixture to “draw out toxins”; and wrapped me in foil while she zapped zits using a “Tesla current” wand (surely Nikola Tesla never imagined his invention would be used for pimple popping, but the painless procedure did result in a clearer complexion). I felt relaxed afterward, sure, but was unconvinced my skin’s moisture level had improved. True, my man noticed my smooth legs, but that was just because I shaved (another thing I don’t usually bother with during winter). 60 minutes for $100.— Gretchen Kalwinski

Reflexology massage at the spa at the Four Seasons Hotel
This treatment, basically a fancy foot massage, purports to “enhance circulation and help balance body and mind.” With my general malaise, sleepiness and cold feet this time of year, I’ll take all the balancing I can get. While working on my tootsies, my therapist told me reflexology stems from the idea that every body part has a corresponding point on the feet, and if you activate those pressure points, you’re “working from the inside out” to restore balance. Afterward, I was led to a relaxation room to recline on silk pillows and feast on Champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries. There’s no question I felt relaxed and had warmer feet; all I want to know is, when can I move in? 25 minutes for $65.—Gretchen Kalwinski

Detox
The toxic avenger
A stressball attempts to pulverize her poisons with seven days of high-end healing.

By Gretchen Kalwinski

Yeah, yeah—everyone’s busy. But my insane schedule causes me bodily harm. There’s that persistent tension headache and cough. And the fainting episode on the El. And the trouble sleeping. When chest palpitations began, my doc said these symptoms were anxiety related, and suggested slowing down. Great, but who has time? To see if I could get a quick fix, I went hardcore, doing a detox treatment every day of the week. Bonus: These treatments require little effort on my part other than a cobra pose…and an occasional dash to the bathroom.

SUNDAY colon cleanse
After scaring myself silly reading online gut-cleansing forums and viewing photos of toothed intestinal parasites, my adventure begins with Ultimate Cleanse, a series of pills with ingredients such as dandelion that are taken to “release accumulated toxins in the body” and combat “low energy.” User forums say the first day is the most, um, urgent, so I stay home, close to a toilet, and boy am I glad—I visit the loo seven times today. I don’t see any fanged parasites, thank God, and I do feel lighter and more energized by day’s end. Whole Foods (locations citywide, wholefoods.com). $28.95.

MONDAY ear candling
Proponents of this folk-medicine treatment claim it clears gunk from sinuses, so during lunch I visit Elizabeth Adam Salon. While I lie on my side, an aesthetician inserts a conical candle in my ear, lights it and trims the end until the flame is 4 inches from my ear. At the end of the half-hour treatment, she shows me my earwax gob: disgusting. But my congestion doesn’t improve. Next! 845 N Michigan Ave, suite 908E (312-988-9611,elizabethadamsalon.com). $68.

TUESDAY Ionic Foot Bath with Detox Pedicure
At Silken Tent, I put my feet in a tub of water with a noisy black Aquavida “array,” a contraption designed to stimulate glands in the feet, drawing out toxins like aluminum, lead and mercury (which can cause headaches, insomnia and poor mental concentration, respectively). My water turns orange, (other common shades are black and green), but no one in the salon can explain why, and the Aquavida website says the water changes even without your feet due to “chemical interactions.” Hmm, sounds fishy. However, an amazingly detailed pedicure and reflexology treatment follows. I’m so mellow afterward that friends at dinner note my tranquil state. 2300 Chestnut Ave, Glenview (877-774-5536, thesilkentent.com). $105.

WEDNESDAY hot yoga
I’ve done this type of yoga before and know to expect an intense, 105-degree session at Bikram Yoga Chicago. During the sweaty poses, I relish in knowing that hot yoga not only improves strength and flexibility, it also opens pores, energizes the body and releases toxins through sweat. Postworkout, I’m a wet noodle and sleep like a baby. 1344 N Milwaukee Ave, third floor (773-395-9150, bycic.com). $15.

THURSDAY Enercupping therapy with acupuncture
My headache is no longer raging, but I’m still having palpitations. When I say that to my acupuncturist at Ruby Room, she focuses on acupuncture, since she says cupping is more for increasing circulation and “promoting the free flow of qi [vital energy],” while needles “calm the shen [spirit] and unblock stagnation” that causes tension issues like headaches and chest-tightness. She presses warm cups on my back, then painlessly pokes my arms, legs and forehead with needles. Afterward, the palpitations have lessened and the headache is gone. Good thing, since I’ve got a wine party to attend. If only acupuncture could hurl a preemptive strike against my inevitable hangover. 1743–45 W Division St (773-235-2323, rubyroom.com). $150.

FRIDAY ESPA detox body envelopment
Today’s after-work treatment at the luxurious Peninsula Spa is supposed to stimulate the lymphatic system and help purge whatever environmental toxins you carry around (bus exhaust, heavy metals, etc.) First I’m scrubbed with a dry brush, then lathered with a mix of seaweed, clay and ginger. A layer of plastic and hot towels comes next to get me sweating, which helps draw out those toxins. My therapist has magic hands—only problem is the oils she uses to give me an (amazing) scalp massage render my locks greasy, and she says I shouldn’t shampoo till tomorrow to allow the oil to moisturize my scalp. Since I’m now a greaseball, I bail on a gallery opening and opt for bed. I feel so pampered that for once I couldn’t care less about my social obligations—a liberating thought. 108 E Superior St (312-573-6860, chicago.peninsula.com/pch/spa.html). $155.

SATURDAY mind detox
I’m loving my spa lifestyle, but I’m sick of being touched by people I don’t know, and am relieved that today’s treatment involves only me, my apartment and my boyfriend. This detox is a mind-cleanse (prescribed by our Chill Out editor who knows about these things). The idea is: no phones, stereos, TVs or computers, so we proceed with brunch making and newspaper reading, free from white noise. We’re so into kicking it Amish-style that instead of turning lights on at dusk, we light candles, which allows for few activities except taking a walk and smooching by candlelight. We’re so relaxed by bedtime that we vow to repeat this monthly.

POST DETOX, my tension headaches are gone, my chest palpitations have quieted and I’m two pounds lighter. It’s hard to tell which treatment did the most good, but my instincts say the mind detox and acupuncture were the most effective, so I’ll continue with those on occasion. But now I know that my doc was right: Sometimes “balance” can be less about chichi spa treatments and more about simple downtime—and in the end that’s way more satisfying than being manhandled by strangers.

Michael Anthony Salon Spa Wicker Park

• Venue: Michael Anthony Salon Spa Wicker Park
• Times: Daily.
• Address: 2038 W Division Damen and Hoyne Sts Bucktown/Wicker Park, Chicago
• Phone: 773-772-0707
• Travel: El: Blue to Division, Red to Division. Bus: 70 Division, 50 Damen.
• Website: michaelanthonyspa.com
• The newest Michael Anthony outpost is luxuriously calm despite its strip-mall location. Downstairs from the hair salon is the tranquil spa (offering massages, facials, hand/foot care), where our bod was treated to a Body Polish, leaving us buffed and baby-smooth, before the Hot Stone Massage got us dozing. (True, our room was somewhat frigid and the masseuse pulled our hair but we’ll chalk that up to newness.) Best of all was the shower-room, complete with jetstreams and fragrant Aveda products galore.

Stymnied about what to do this December 31? I wrote this piece below with answers for everyone; even the haters. Click the headline for the full article.

New Year’s Eve, Issue #146

Toasts and jams
Whether 2007 brought you stock-market pain or new-baby pleasure, our dinner, party and morning-after options will help you ring in 2008 the right way—even if you’re an NYE hater.

Your year
You broke up—now hook up

Your relationship went up in flames just in time for NYE. Think you’re going to miss out on that stroke-of-midnight smooch? We don’t think so. The plan: Zone in on places that are sans snuggly couples and full of your type. Just try to pick one where you-know-who is unlikely to show up: 2008 is about a new batch of cuties, not drama, right?

NICE PIECE OF GLASS The Bottle Bar is a great place to make googly eyes at hotties.
Photo: Jessica Dixon

Your night
Dinner
Get some single friends together and go somewhere with close quarters or a communal environment. The proximity to your fellow diners, coupled with liquor, could get strangers talking, and if you’re lucky, touching. Even though it’s not presenting anything special for New Year’s and not taking reservations, small-plates haven Avec (615 W Randolph St, 312-377-2002) is a good choice: The tables are so close together, you’re practically seated in your neighbor’s lap. Wicker Park tapas joint People (1560 N Milwaukee Ave, 773-227-9339) will host an NYE dinner at $130 per person that includes four courses such as wild mushroom soup, duck breast with serrano ragout and a chocolate parfait. This spot also has a long communal table, great food and a young, friendly crowd—all crucial ingredients for a meal with possibilities, if you catch our drift.

Partytime
For the evening’s main event, you’re looking for booze aplenty and pretty people. And preferably not some cheeseball hotel bash hosted by middle-aged radio jocks that advertises itself as “the party of the year.” Not that we ever succumbed to that in high school or anything. Ahem. Chichi lounge krem (1750 N Clark St, 312-932-1750) hosts festivities for $125 that include high-end cocktails (Belvedere vodka and Veuve Clicquot) and hors d’oeuvres. Also up north, Lakeview’s Bottle Bar (950 W Wolfram St, 773-665-5660), which offers 99 different kinds of bottled brew, is having a “beer lovers” NYE bash and serving “only Gold Medal winners from the World Beer Cup” (everything from Chimay to Olde English). But never fear, beer haters: Bottle also will have an open bar with premium vodkas and rum. Both of these bashes will include all the elements—swank decor, great music, flowing liquor—to get the talky, sexy vibe going.

For full article, click here.

BadatSports sat down and interviewed Genie Williamson and I about why we started Literago.org and what we hope to accomplish. Such great fun talking to these ladies!

NOW Massage Studio

• Address: 2141 W Webster Ave between Hoyne Ave and Leavitt St Bucktown/Wicker Park, Chicago
• Phone: 773-276-5278
• Travel: El: Blue to Damen. Bus: 50 Damen, 56 Milwaukee, 73 Armitage.
• Website: nourhy.com
• Prices: $85 for 60-minute service, $45 for 30-minute service.
• Nourhy’s cottage-esque studio in Bucktown (plus the presence of her pooch) disarms clients even before she employs her light, practiced touch to her reflexology, massage, and craniosacral treatments. Nourhy uses organic sheets, towels and oils and has an intuitive knowledge of what the client needs: She blended several treatments for us, and our stress levels—not to mention our shoulders—dropped immediately and stayed that way for days.

Time Out Chicago / Issue 129: August 16–22, 2007

Apartments Issue
Eco maniac
Use plants, water filters, organic sheets and other earth-friendly goods to give your entire apartment a green sweep.

By Gretchen Kalwinski

Kitchen
Refined recycling Rubbermaid is fine, but plastic ain’t good for landfills—plus, it’s not all that attractive. For separating paper and (non-funky) plastic recyclables, try Nice Home’s metal bins (pictured, above) in colors like baby blue bright or orange. $19.99–$29.99 at Target (locations throughout the city, target.com).

Bag it Our Old World grandmothers reused plastic baggies. We should, too. After washing, hang ’em on a nifty Countertop Bag Dryer, a multipronged wood contraption shaped like an upside-down cone. $19 at gaiam.com.

Hit the bottle Bottled water wastes plastic and oftentimes is just repackaged tap water anyway (ahem, Aquafina). By installing a filter that attaches to your faucet and toting a reusable bottle, you save plastic and cashola. Brita filters are easy to install; just screw the attachment onto your faucet and change filters when the little warning light flashes. $19.97–$39.97 at Home Depot (locations throughout the city, homedepot.com).

Got any herb? Grow cooking herbs (mint, basil, parsley) in your kitchen window—you won’t waste plastic packaging and won’t have to buy tiny bunches of herbs at jacked-up prices. Gethsemane Gardens has a range of herbs and cute pots to transplant them into once you’re home. $3.99–$8.99 at Gethsemane Gardens (5739 N Clark St, 773-878-5915).

Photo: Sarah McKemie

Bathroom
In hot water Take shorter showers or get a luxury low-flow shower head, which can save about 4,000 gallons of water per year. $59.99–$89.99 at Bed, Bath & Beyond (locations throughout the city, bedbathandbeyond.com).

Shower power Buy a hemp shower curtain. Sure, the light tan color is a little drab and it’s pricier than PVC (vinyl) ones, but you don’t need a liner, hemp is naturally resistant to mildew and bacteria, and the EPA reported in 2002 that PVC shower curtains “can cause elevated indoor-air toxic concentrations.” $99 at Bean Products (1500 S Western Ave, 312-666-3600, beanproducts.com).

Skin deep Since conventional body products often contain cheap, synthetic and potentially toxic ingredients, using organic products is a no-brainer. Treehugger.com recommends making sure that you buy only products that have the USDA Organic seal, which means the product is truly free from synthetics and supports organic farming and agriculture. Dr. Bronner’s and Aubrey Organics never test on animals and led the fight for the USDA seal. We recommend Dr. Bronner’s Pure Castille Peppermint Soap (pictured, right) and Aubrey Organics Camomile Luxurious Volumizing Conditioner. $12.49 and $13.78, respectively, at Whole Foods (locations throughout the city, wholefoods.com).

Bedroom
Sound asleep Drown out serious noise pollution from the El and nightime sirens with the soothing trickle of a waterfall fountain lulling you to sleep. No need to rely on white-noise machines—the Art Institute gift shop has a gorgeous fountain made of slate. $115 at the Art Institute gift shop (111 S Michigan Ave, artinstituteshop.org).

Sheet sandwich Use chemical-free organic cotton sheets to avoid skin irritation and aggravated allergies. The Haven “Hotel Collection” at Macy’s is available in a variety of soothing neutrals and has a 400 thread count. $49.99–$59.99 on sale at Macy’s (two locations in the city, macys.com).

See the light Choose soy candles instead of paraffin ones, which produce carcinogens and soot. Tatine’s soy varieties, like creeping moss and ginger grapefruit, smell fabulous. $15–$24 at tatinecandles.com (online shop opens mid-August).

Photo: Martha Williams

All rooms
Air fresheners Not only do these plants absorb carbon dioxide and release oxygen, they also help to clean the not-so-fresh air that drifts into apartments near highways or busy streets. Garden centers and nurseries throughout the city always have a supply of the best air-filtering plants: English ivy, spider plants (pictured, above), peace lilies and rubber plants. $4.99–$32.99 at Grand Street Gardens (2200 W Grand Ave, 312-829-8200, grandstreetgardens.com).

Clear the air If you’re not into houseplants, buy an indoor air purifier instead. Sharper Image has a wide variety of nonhideous ones. $149.95–$499.95 at Sharper Image (835 N Michigan Ave, 312-335-1600).

Pull the plug Your TV and stereo, as well as cell-phone and camera chargers, gobble energy even when not in use. For simplicity’s sake, plug your electronics into a surge protector, and just flip the switch when you head out for the day.
$9.99–$39.99 at Best Buy (locations throughout the city, bestbuy.com).

Slash your paper trail You can get off any company’s catalog mailing list by calling its 800 number. To opt out of prescreened offers for credit or insurance, visit optoutprescreen.com.

Time Out Chicago / Issue 128: August 9–15, 2007

The Gambling Issue
Easy money
Don’t go all in without studying these sure-fire hints.
By TOC staff
Despite many of our less-than-stellar efforts in the casinos, we managed to pick up a few tips on the most popular games from some experts, gaming industry workers and a few amateur players who’ve lost a lot of money, but picked up some tricks along the way.

By: Gretchen Kalwinski
Roulette
Keep it simple
A guy who is “a gambling expert, if ‘expert’ means someone who’s lost a shitload of money gambling” reports that, “Roulette has 800 ways to bet, so the best thing you can do is bet on red or black, since you’ll win half the time. But the payout’s lousy.”

Play the odds
An executive at a gambling-machine company says to, “Try to find a single-zero roulette table—called European roulette. The ‘house’ edge or advantage is almost half of a double-zero table.”

Slots
Give yourself some credit
“Don’t leave a machine with credits in it,” says that same executive. “I’ve walked hundreds of casino floors throughout the world and I am constantly amazed at the number of machines I’ve found with credits remaining.”

Butt in
A library worker and blackjack ace lets us in on a slots secret; “My partner’s stepmom, a.k.a. the Lurker, is an astonishingly successful slots player. She says machines with ashtrays full of mashed-up cigarette butts are ready to pay out, since ‘someone was getting really frustrated pouring money into it.’ ”

Tip for a tip-off
“I’ve heard some machines are programmed to win,” our former Lake Tahoe casino worker source divulges, “So, tip the person working in slots and ask them to suggest machines. The casinos won’t put those machines in really obvious spots, so avoid the really huge machines.”

Just say no
A law student and semi-professional gambler snarks, “Don’t play slots because people will see you, and you’ll look like an idiot for playing the slots.”

–Gretchen Kalwinski

Time Out Chicago / Issue 124: July 12–18, 2007

Music
No Pitchfork tickets? No problem
Yes, Pitchfork is totally sold out. But there still might be ways to get in.

By Gretchen Kalwinski

If you put off buying tickets to Pitchfork, you’re outta luck. These tips below, however, might help procrastinators rock out.

1. Craigslist (chicago.craigslist.org/tix) Sure, it’s obvious, and prices will be jacked up. But when’s the next time Yoko Ono will play alongside Aesop Rock, the New Pornographers and De La Soul in your backyard?

2. Volunteer Many vendors could use help, and you’d get in for free once you’re done for the day. Here are some people looking for help: Busy Beaver Button Co. (buttongal@busybeaver.net); Chicago Conservation Corp—you’ll help to recycle (Aicha_Menendez@hotmail.com).

3. Be a roadie Hey, those amps aren’t going to plug themselves in. Local bands are probably set, but some acts probably could use a little help with setup. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to be, you know, hot. “[Roadies should be] really attractive, with an SAT score of at least 1550,” says Ramesh Srivastava of Voxtrot. Is he kidding? We’re not sure, but he did say anyone interested should e-mail the group at voxtrot@voxtrot.net.

4. Tailgate or sneak in (shhh!) It might be possible to see/hear performers from the playlot and swimming pool in Union Park. And not that we’re advocating illegal acts, of course, but two years ago, it was easy to sneak in from the pool area. Last year, however, organizers wised up and heightened security. So, trespass at your own risk.

I co-founded this literary website in 2007. [for full list of posts, click here.]

Yo mama, you rock!

Venus Zine gives a Mother’s Day shout-out

By Venus Zine Staff
Published: May 12th, 2007 | 6:49pm

TO: LINDA KALWINSKI
FROM: GRETCHEN KALWINSKI, VENUS ZINE WRITER
Lately, I’ve been thinking about how über-DIY my mom is. I have fond memories of my hippie-parents building their own garage and cutting labels off clothing to protest advertising. But my mom’s Lately, I’ve been thinking about how über-DIY my mom is. I have fond memories of my hippie-parents building their own garage and cutting labels off clothing to protest advertising. But my mom’s Do-It-Yourself attitude wasn’t just ’60s counterculture-nonconformity, it was necessity. She came from scrappy immigrants who re-used every plastic baggie, every piece of aluminum foil. Then her father died when she was 16, and DIY took on a whole new meaning for her family — making their own clothing, canning vegetables and fruit actually helped the 6 of them survive. During my childhood, she managed to work full-time while also making clothing and costumes for us kids, designing her own “Snugli” before they were popular, cooking from scratch, baking elaborate birthday cakes in the shapes of trains and animals, and still attending every game, every dance performance. Even now, when it’s no longer financially necessary, she re-uses materials, gardens, and makes clothing herself. I believe that every creative urge, every cooking, yoga, or gardening impulse that my siblings and I have, we owe to the DIY street-cred instilled by my amazing mother when we were kids.

Profero, Inc. Press Release

Contact: Jean Lareau Profero, Inc.
1-888-4 Lean 5S
www.ProferoInc.com

For Immediate Release Chicago, IL Profero, Inc. Adds New Office to Accommodate Growth
CHICAGO, IL (April 6, 2007) — Profero Inc., a leader in Lean Enterprise methods, will be adding a new office space to their organization in April 2007. Profero will retain its main corporate headquarters in Chicago’s Printer’s Row neighborhood, but the new space in the historic Monadnock Building will allow for Profero’s recent expansion and growth.

Profero has enjoyed a number of recent successes. In the past year, they have expanded their client base and given dozens of workshops, trainings, and lectures in locations across the country. They have also launched a 5S Supply site , and are gearing up to launch a redesign of their main website. All these projects have led to more jobs, added income, and a need for additional accommodations.

Profero’s Tony Manos is optimistic about the added space. “In the past year, we’ve found that the office in Printer’s Row wasn’t large enough to accommodate all our clientele, staff, and storage needs. So, we decided that it was time to commit to additional space which will also foster better client-consultant interactions.” Built in 1893, the Monadnock building is a famed piece of Chicago Loop architecture, known for its “nationally acclaimed melding of historic character and modern technology.”

The Monadnock is also ideal for Profero since the building’s varied suite-sizes can grow as Profero grows. Manos stresses how the new Monadnock office will foster Profero’s continued expansion; “The additional space points to our recent gains and will give us more flexibility to suit our growth,” he says.

# # # About Profero, Inc.:
Profero, Inc. coaches, guides, and delivers excellence via quality and process improvements including Lean Enterprise. Headquartered in Chicago, Illinois, Profero performs services all over the world. For more information, see www.ProferoInc.com.

“Wycoff portrays the gritty, sorrowful elements of her characters’ lives head-on and offers no easy solutions—no one’s riding up on a white horse—but neither are the stories bleak. Instead, drama and tension are delivered in such a subtle but detail-infused way that the reader becomes invested in Beth’s plight early on in the collection. Download PDF [for full article, click here.]“ Time Out Chicago / Issue 107: March 15–21, 2007

Time Out Chicago / Issue 107: March 15–21, 2007

Chicks and balances

A debut author upends chick lit with an unflinching look at poverty.

By Gretchen Kalwinski

If there existed a polar opposite to chick lit, Corrina Wycoff’s O Street (OV Books, $17.95) would exemplify the genre. The debut author isn’t interested in romanticizing love, motherhood, hardship—or anything at all, come to think of it.

O Street collects ten short stories about Beth Dinard, who spends her Newark childhood caring for her mentally ill, homeless, junkie single mother. “Visiting Mrs. Ferullo” shows Beth following a neighbor home, longing for the home-cooking aromas that waft from the woman’s apartment. In “The Wrong Place in the World,” adult Beth is in Chicago trying to stabilize her life even while her brutal memories affect her relationships and attitudes about class and work. When she gets a phone call informing her of her mother’s death, it triggers a relapse into old, destructive patterns. It’s tempting to read the tightly linked stories as a novel, but Wycoff stresses the importance of the form.

“In a linked-story format, I can present other points of view as short pieces of contrast,” she says. “I wanted to structure the book so that it begins and ends with a death, because I wanted it to read as a cycle. Linearity, to me, seems more of a construct than cycles.”

A single mother herself, Wycoff says the stories should not be confused with autobiography.

“They are based on a political truth: Single mothers fall through the cracks in this country, and the cracks grow in proportion to these women’s economic challenges, making inaccessible the so-called American Dream,” she says. “When my son was born, I’d not yet gone to college, and money was extremely tight. I drew on that experience…but by the time I wrote about it, [I] had changed enough that it didn’t resemble my ‘real’ life at all.”

In one scene, a depressed Beth wishes that she could “grow into someone new—someone who could easily have had two parents, good breeding, hearty suppers and piano lessons.” Passages like these strike unexpected chords. Though many contemporary narratives deal with women’s physical and spiritual transformations, few do so at the poverty level. This is, of course, no grand coincidence: Poor women face even more barriers than their male counterparts in getting their stories told.

“The second of these I wrote when my son was two years old,” says Wycoff. “I wrote it, in part, in reaction to all of the sentimental, dreamy writing about motherhood. ”

In Chicago, Wycoff met UIC’s Cris Mazza, an award-winning author who has waged a one-woman war against the chick-lit genre. Since then, Mazza has become both her creative muse and mentor.

“Twelve years ago, I read How to Leave a Country, and decided I needed to read everything she’d ever written,” Wycoff says. “She was the reason I chose to go to college and, later, graduate school at UIC, and she helped me see that the disparate single-mother stories I’d written could be linked.”

Because of the book’s gravitas (the title story is especially harrowing), getting O Street published wasn’t easy.

“I got about seven rejections over the course of four years, all from small presses,” she says, “many of whom called the collection ‘too dark.’”

Indeed, Wycoff portrays the gritty, sorrowful elements of her characters’ lives head-on and offers no easy solutions—no one’s riding up on a white horse, but neither are the stories bleak. Instead, drama and tension are delivered in such a subtle but detail-infused way that the reader becomes invested in Beth’s plight early on in the collection. The collection will likely elicit Dorothy Allison comparisons for its depictions of poor women and lesbian relationships, .

Wycoff is working on a novel now, and is planning another about teaching at a community college.

With chick lit down, it looks like the vaunted “university novel” may next.

Wycoff reads this week.

The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs
Written by: Irvine Welsh
Review by: Gretchen Kalwinski

In Bedroom Secrets, Danny Skinner is a rakishly handsome, carousing restaurant inspector living in Edinburgh, plugging away just fine until Brian Kibby arrives as his co-worker. Kibby is seemingly unthreatening–quiet with “cowlike” eyes and a bit of a mama’s boy, but generally inoffensive. However, Skinner immediately hates Kibby with an intensity that even he doesn’t understand. Via his contempt and competitiveness, some of his long-languishing problems, long-clouded by booze begin to rise to the surface and throw his whole life into upheaval and disarray. He begins to pester his formerly punk-rock mother about his father’s identity, (which she’ll only jokingly give as Joe Strummer of The Clash), and throws away whatever was left of his relationship with Kay, a beautiful dancer who’s been finding his drinking bouts increasingly tiresome.

Skinner eventually puts a curse on Kibby that results in the Star Trek and model train-obsessed boy beginning to suffer the damage of Skinner’s abusive lifestyle. This sets in motion Kibby’s declining health and Skinner’s gleeful indulgences in even more booze, drugs, fighting, and sexcapades. Simultaneously, Skinner’s search for his father’s identity takes him to San Francisco and back via information he learns in a book penned by an obnoxious TV chef. Once he returns home, Kibby starts approaching death and begins to learn the ins-and-outs of the curse and how he might be able to reverse it.

This is Welsh’s eighth novel centering around gritty, urban environments and one common critique of his work is that he’s never departed from stock characters and themes from Trainspotting. It’s true that the ho-hum-by-now grit is Welsh’s schtick, but he’s also got substance in spades. For all of his stock use of transgressive
content — booze, drugs, orgies, sickness (and gratingly flagrant use of the c-word, by the way) — Welsh knows how to tell a story in the old-fashioned sense of the word, a narrative that subtly builds tension in increasingly complex characters, delivers unexpected plot twists and resolutions, and conjures a reader’s genuine investment in outcomes. Few writers handle the-beauty-of-ugliness themes as well as Welsh and the warm humanity of his deft language coupled with his insights into ego and the dark side of human nature makes Bedroom Secrets a compelling read.

–Gretchen Kalwinski

Once Upon a Time (or the Secret Language of Birds)

Joe Meno injects Redmoon’s aesthetic with his particular brand of unsentimental yet pathos-laden humor.

Tuesday Feb 13, 2007
by Gretchen Kalwinski

Redmoon Theater is known for its outlandish productions that employ puppets, carnival aesthetics, gymnastics and whimsical, otherworldly sets and costumers. But sometimes their performances can suffer from a lack of narrative arc—the fantastical, beautiful scenes are entertaining in their own right, but aren’t always held together by a strong plot.

But for “Once Upon A Time,” Redmoon hired a writer to piece together parts of their concept and form a cohesive script. Enter Joe Meno, acclaimed Chicago novelist and playwright, who also has a penchant for the whimsical. Meno promptly injected Redmoon’s aesthetic with his particular brand of unsentimental yet pathos-laden humor, creating a modern fairy tale about Emily, a lonely and lost girl living in a tenement in the 1920s. After realizing she can speak to and understand the chirping of birds, her loneliness is eased.

The engaging plot that follows revolves around the theft of “all the world’s birds” and the corresponding loss of human dreams. With some clues to guide them as to the whereabouts of the stolen birds, Emily and her friend Bruno (a retired wrestler and giant) embark on a dangerous quest to retrieve them.

The lovely and unusual set is comprised of a small puppet theater at center stage and a large screen above, which the puppet action gets projected onto. Narrator Lindsey Noel Whiting does double-duty providing voices for all the characters, while the puppets—made up of entertaining, disproportionate photos—are maneuvered by puppeteers via sticks. All this is set against local musician Kevin Donnell’s haunting atmospheric music.

The puppet theater itself is an intricate masterpiece, which the audience crowded around when the play ended. Aside from the illustrations and little mini-sets built into it, the theater also employs a clever, wheel-driven mechanism (designed by jack-of-all trade artist Erik Newman) for moving panels of scenery back and forth on hemp-string. Others members of the stellar artistic team include director Frank Maugeri, Kass Copeland (puppet theater design), Seth Bockley (assistant director), Tracy Otwell (toy theater design), Angela Tillges (art director) and Jim Lasko (Redmoon founder).

The ticket price is a bit steep: $30 for adults and $15 for tots. But the haunting mood that Redmoon creates with its visual dynamism, along with the warm humanity of the tale, makes it a perfect wintertime family outing that’s well worth the cost of admission.

“Once Upon a Time (or the Secret Language of Birds)” runs through April 8 at Redmoon Central, 1463 W. Hubbard Street, Chicago. Shows 7:30 p.m. Thursday-Sunday; 3 p.m. Saturday-Sunday, $15-30; call (312) 850-8440.

“Meno promptly injected Redmoon’s aesthetic with his particular brand of unsentimental yet pathos-laden humor, creating a modern fairy tale about Emily, a lonely and lost girl living in a tenement in the 1920s. After realizing she can speak to and understand the chirping of birds, her loneliness is eased. [for full article, click here.]” February 13, 2007.